There are many moments where I learn something embarrassingly elementary and it is legitimately mind-blowing to me. No room for haughty high level views of myself in these parts because this happens REGULARLY. The most recent encounter was yesterday when, in my therapy appointment, the counselor said, “Yes, you are limited.” 

I had mentioned that I cannot do it all. Currently, I’m trying to manage three teens (trust me: the tween ‘tude counts), two jobs, massive change in so many life chapters and communities, and let's throw in a kitchen remodel to really seal the deal with layers of dust and keeping our food in the basement. As she was listing these items as evidence of what was making this time difficult, she didn't even include what I had initially brought up, which was that I was still reeling from these appointments where a psychologist meets with the parents before they test your child for psychological and learning issues. Oh, and add in a particularly challenging season of marriage. Ah, what the hell: “And a partridge in a pear treeeeee!”

When she was listing the layers of hard, I began to release my shoulders and sink into the couch because it actually made sense why it feels like I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. But what I said was “I couldn't do it all.” I didn't say I was limited… did I?

I was raised to be a psychotically driven overachiever. There is always room for growth and we have an expectation from ourselves, as well as from our surroundings, to optimize our potential and maximize our achievements. This was kind of a part of the whole "you can be anything you want to be" and "achieve anything you set your mind to" generation. There was always room to get to the next level or even begin an additional impressive skill. Because we were continually working to improve ourselves it never really occurred to me that there would in fact be a limit. But when you consider it, you cannot do it all inherently means you are limited. 

For me there has always been a "yeah but" after this sort of conversation providing impressive rationales as to why we put the pedal to the metal regardless because we are capable of far more than we know and who knows what lies just over the horizon!

Spoiler alert: it is complete and utter fatigue. So I sat there and kind of hated that I had to agree with this assessment. I am limited. Then I flipped right to my brain because why feel your feelings when you can intellectually debate them instead? Yes, everything was created to need breaks I offer... even plants need a time or season of rest. "It would go against your created order to power through then, yes?". BLERGH! Technically yes. Is our time almost up?

"Christin you cannot rest until you can admit that you are limited." "Okay,” I said, "I am limited... but how do I make sure nobody else knows about it bwahaha". (picture only me laughing here). But wait a minute: why hide this fact, especially when it's universal? What a gift it would be to everyone in creation to see people taking the rest they need, when they need it, because they know it is part of the human design to need rest. 

The very best organizing appointment I ever had was with a woman who had accrued quite a large collection of self help books. We would make an agreement that she could keep a pile to listen to before I came again, but if she hadn't listened, we got to put them in the giveaway pile next time I visited. On one of our last sessions dealing with the self help material she said, "Maybe this is where I landed. I'm sick of trying to improve myself. Let's just give the rest away." Then, with a big eighty-year-old smile, she exhaled and lowered her shoulders.

What a gift it is to land right where you are. Not to give up dreaming all together, but to find the "you are here" mall map square in life and accept that as where you are in the journey. It is okay to want to go somewhere else in the mall and you can look at your options and choose a destination, but you can't get there without knowing where it is that your journey begins.

The best part of spending time with people and helping them intentionally walk towards the life they desire is that most of the time there is a lack of acceptance of the “you are here” marker. There is usually an expectation that they would be farther along or have done something more impressive by now (especially with all those degrees, etc). If all I get to do is help people accept where they are as the starting block for where they are headed, I would have been successful at my job. This is clearly a lesson I'm still learning, and I hope we can grow in this together. Can you sit and write out where you find yourself and can you show grace to that beautiful limited human as you would an old friend and accept that this is where all good work begins? With the acceptance of reality and the admission of being limited launching us into hopes and dreams that then become exciting to pursue! Because we were not made to do it all. But you have been made to do something incredibly important. Find your “you are here” marker and let's begin.